asparagus my ass tuRN THE FUCK AROUND
At the grocery store. Orange juice was available as:
- No Pulp
- With Pulp
- MORE Pulp
- LOADED With Pulp
They did not have the other levels which are, in order of increasing pulpitude:
- Loaded With Even More Pulp
- Extra Loaded With Lots Of Pulp
- Holy Shit, That’s A Lot Of Pulp
- Seriously. There’s A Lot Of Pulp In This Motherfucker.
- Stop Fucking With Me. Who Would Want This Much Pulp?
- I’m Not Fucking With You. There’s So Much God Damned Pulp In This Sumbitch That You Should Forget A Straw Because You’ll Need A Fucking Ladle.
- Screw The Ladle. Get A Carving Knife.
- No Longer Juice. Slightly Damp Pulp.
- An Orange
I’ve found it. The pulp post. The lasts time I saw this was the summer of 2012. I was sharing an air mattress with a guy who was asleep and I was laughing so hard I had to roll away to keep him from waking up.
Jesus save me.
This is, in fact, the most important post on the internet.
Every male should be required to read this.
Every person on earth should read this.
Coming from a boy: When another guy says, “Oh, I see its that time of month again.” I actually want to punch you in the dick and make your genitals bleed, cause fuck you, maybe you’re right but it’s disrespectful in my mind to be pointing it out and if this is what girls go through you should understand they have the right to be a bit short tempered during those 5 days.
Thank god someone gets it. I hate it when people call girls out on it, that’s just downright shameful and rude as hell.
itS BACK YEEESSS
praise the lord that this exists